Friday, September 22, 2006

when too much is too much

...taking a little break guys...sad news on top of sad news on top of my IBS flaring up on top of not having my mister with me = one teary overwhelmed girl...you know when you just feel like one more bit of sad in the world is going to topple you over & make you spiral a little bit into...well, into the "too much is too much" space. that space for me right now includes, my brother & sister-in-law losing their 4 mo. old baby, my cousin who struggles with drug addiction being back in jail, my IBS flaring up beyond control, 2 neighbors leaving me and leaving a sad building, my one lovely friend who is my confidant at work leaving until january, 2 good friends losing their fathers in the past month, & me feeling super lonely with bl in virginia and me here in SF.

i know i need a break from the world when riding the bus into work this morning i want to cry listening to lucinda williams 'blue' on my ipod, the bus driver hits a construction man, & walking the streets up to my school i pass 4 homeless men who all look at me so pleadingly...it was/is all i can do to make it up the hill & try to start the day w/o totally losing it.

so, i'm taking a break. i need some time to re-energize & re-focus -- maybe a week or two...maybe less. but i need some things to lift some of this before i have creative-ness & fun-ness & joy-ness to spread again.

xxx.

7 comments:

sveetcouture said...

i'm so sorry.
life can be super crappy sometimes and it's always good to take some time off.
i doubt it means much, but i adore you.
(and i just saw the picture of you wearing one my brooches and it made me smile!)
hope things get better!

Pootlecat said...

Take all the time in the world and look after yourself. Much love from over here. xx

Leslie Y. said...

Oh Jen, I'm glad you're giving yourself time to grieve and heal. I'm so sorry for your loss. Right now, all I want to do is just hold your hand and say nothing.

Love,
Leslie

shash said...

that is a lot. :-( sending you good thoughts.

candykid6 said...

well i still love you to death and i hope, no i know you'll feel better soon, just veg for a while, take a break from your small business tycoon life and hang out with old dixie for a hot minute..... sometimes it al piles up and we can't begin to IMAGINE how we're going to clean it all up, but we always do. and i have faith in you, and i know everyone else does. look at us, we're all trying to help in someway or another but point is everyone ADORES you jl, so keep your head up.

natasha said...

jen, i am so sorry to hear about all the sad stuff. and when you feel sick, it is really hard to keep your chin up, i know! you can be sure that things are on the upswing now, so take it easy, try to pamper yourself, and feel free to email me if you wanna talk or bitch and moan!

take care of your tummy!
n.

mi2 in CA said...

jenifer,

so sorry I just read about this today. Hope you had some time to think things thru and hope you're feeling better already.

Take it easy and we are adore you.

Lots of hugs!!
xoxo