fortitude

without having my computer with me the last week, it's enabled me to have lots of thinking/musing/look at old magazines time. & i thought a lot about what i sort of mentioned before. changes. & how changes can be good, bad or a combination of both. & growing...i think all change makes one embrace growth (even if it's sometimes with a grimace).

in thinking about why i've been so sick (i really do think i'm finally on an upswing - thank god)...why i haven't slowed down, why i haven't even had time to think about what might be causing me to hit a new level of health low...i came up with this: i'm lacking focus...focus on me-time...it's been all about my students, or my business, or my dog, or my husband, or my crazy schedule, or getting this here & that there & it's all got to be done now, lists, lists, lists - everywhere there are to-do lists...& i think i might have forgotten little ole me in the process of growing my business & living my life...

so some changes are in order. i've been thinking on what exactly those might be...& talking it over with the mister too. so far, we've come up with sunday being *my* chill day, absolutely no sprout studio work, no go here, be there, go go go...no! it's total, absolute, 100% all about jenifer taking down time...rest time...nap time...being a sloth time...whatever i want to do time. & that will be difficult, yet rewarding for me. i've pushed & pushed with my business & finances & plans & goals...& my body finally said no more. so i need to listen to that...even though i know it will be very difficult to feel like i'm letting go some of the things i've been striving for, i know my health comes first...& knowing that, and acknowledging that, & coming to accept that is where i need to be...& i'm getting there...as artists we need rejuvenation time & healthy investigation/inquisitive/look around times...but we also need fallow time, where not doing anything is okay...so that we might *sprout* :) up with new, fresh ideas.

& i'm on my way to that re-energize time...even though it's technically coming right before the 'crazy' holiday times...i need to respect my body & heed it's decisions or i'll never get well...

so i'll still be posting fun things & blogging -- but i'll just be more on that 'when i can get to it' rather than the, 'right this absolute minute' -- thanks for reading along!

as soon as my little ole mac comes back, i'll post some photos!

xxx.